I think it's safe to say that most of us have at least heard of the seemingly impossible, if not repugnant, lengths that an alcoholic will go to to reach drunkenness. I shall begin this entry with the most unsavory methods that I have been made aware of.
Shortly after entering alcohol rehab for my vodka addiction in 2005, the most dangerous method was infact a game called the "drinking game of death." I could not believe what I was hearing. This "drinking game of death" was as close to Russian Roulette as I can imagine getting to. I am not going to divulge the details.
Within two months of completing alcohol rehab, two guys who I had formed a close bond with had died playing this "drinking game of death." I later found out that one of them was playing the game with other using watered-down methylated spirits as that was all they could afford.
Another method of "getting there" alcohol-wise which shocked me was one alcoholic who openly confessed to injecting watered-down vodka. He had the needle marks on his arms to prove it and was clear every time he was drug tested.
Behind these two shocking methods of achieving drunkenness for the alcoholic are the ones that most of us have heard of. Drinking after-shave is probably the most common. This is actually rather short-lived to the point of futility but has the potential to lead to acute alcohol poisoning and blindness.
On a much 'tamer' scale (but concerning, nonetheless), is 'spiking' ones own drinks. Before I became a reclusive alcoholic, I would 'top-up' whatever drink that I had, be it coffee or Guinness, with a generous dash of vodka. This sort of deception still upsets me to this very day....but....I have not done it today.
This has often posed me the question; the "drinking game of death" is a very social event amongst alcoholics, yet I drank myself closer to death than I'd care to recant here. What's worse?
I guess I was playing my own "drinking game of death" and was nothing more than extremely lucky to have survived it.
Many friends haven't.
Despite appearing 'normal' in all aspects of their life the functional alcoholic is, infact, getting ever-closer to rock bottom. Every alcoholic has their own rock bottom. For some it can be the loss of their job. For some it can be the loss of their family whilst for others it may be loss of financial security. For the unfortunate few, rock bottom can be the grave.
When I commenced this blog I thought that it would be a cakewalk as I've experienced alcoholism from both sides of the fence. The more that I delve into this blog on alcohol abuse and options of alcohol treatment I am finding myself drawn to my own experiences. Please excuse this as it is a useful way to fully explain the complexities of alcohol abuse and alcohol treatment. Outside of perversion, theft and violence I pretty-well did it all.
For many years I was a functional alcoholic. I worked night-shift, came home and drank myself to sleep with no disruption to my 'life.' When my first child was born, alcohol (briefly) took second place. My drinking soon escalated again and my alcohol symptoms began to become evident. This was magnified when my second child was born.
I thought that I had hit my rock bottom when my marriage ended in 2002. Emotionally, I still believe this to be true. As far as alcohol was concerned, I had much further to go. I moved into a house close to my children. Paradoxically I headed down a path that saw me drinking 2 bottles of vodka on an almost daily basis. To say that I was on a path of destruction is such an understatement.
Despite my 2 bottle a day habit, I was still able to 'keep up appearances' for a while. As soon as 'cracks' appeared, they appeared big-time. Week-long blackouts, several hospitalisations for seizures associated with alcohol withdrawal (for which I remain on medication for), non-appearances at social events, a bloated appearance due to impaired renal function and often a beard....mainly because my shaking was so bad that I was unable to hold a razor steady enough.
Interestingly, I would wake at whatever time of day or night shaking very badly. As soon as my hand became within a few inches of the vodka bottle, these shakes would stop. I was coherent enough to realise that there was a psychosomatic factor related to my alcohol abuse. The habitual factor had become so entrenched that it was now presenting as physical symptoms. I chose to ignore this.
So; for the functional alcoholic, bare in mind that this 'functional' state will end for whatever reason. Additionally, there are incredibly strong psychosomatic factors involved that are best addressed by finding a respected Psychologist.
When this occurs....and I sincerely hope that it does (for your well-being)....the next step is alcohol treatment.
As the title of my opening entry to this series of entries blatantly states, alcoholism is insideous. This leads to quite a few questions pertaining to when you actually became an alcoholic. This is a very grey area and varies greatly from alcoholic to alcoholic.
Generally speaking, you are the last person that you will truly admit your alcoholism to. It's all very well to admit to your family, friends and so forth but we all know talk is cheap. That's why so many people do it. 99% of the times that you tell the aforementioned parties is because your problematic drinking has been noticed and you are merely covering your tracks.
Your weightless admissions of your alcohol abuse to those close to you will only last for so long. You are abusing these people and you may never see some of them again! Sooner or later and for whatever reason(s) you will confess to yourself that you are suffering from alcohol addiction. I can only offer options of advice on my own road to alcohol recovery.
You are now at a point where you seriously want to stop drinking alcohol. There is no quick fix and there are countless methods that work for the countless number of people seeking alcohol recovery.
Formulate a plan, on paper, on how you intend to do this. In doing so, you have just made your first concrete plan towards alcohol recovery. Don't rest on your laurels. You have a very long way to go.
In your written plan, (it doesn't have to be chronological), you will want to address alcohol detox which should, ideally, be followed by alcohol rehab. The availability of alcohol counselling vary greatly dependent on your location but I would suggest commencing alcohol counselling as soon as you are able. Again, dependent on your location, it may be some time before your admission to an alcohol detox and then an alcohol detox centre.It'sworth searching the internet for a suitable location near you.
Your alcohol counselor will be able to assess the severity of your alcoholism by subtly your symptoms of alcohol addiction and their severity. They may also be able to fast-track you into alcohol detox and alcohol rehab if your symptoms are severe. The abrupt cessation of alcohol can be fatal if attempted unsupervised.
By admitting to yourself that you are an alcoholic and have taken the time to formulate a plan of recovery from alcohol abuse you have taken the biggest step in your alcoholism recovery....and nobody even knows about it yet.
This is the beginning of a long road ahead.
As mentioned in my previous entry alcohol is a socially accepted and highly promoted drug and that some people can handle it better than others. This begs the question as to why people consume alcohol. There is a mountain of reasons to justify the consumption of alcohol. Social events, work dinners, barbeques, sporting events, unwinding after a hard days work....the list goes on.
This leaves quite a scope of opportunity for the alcoholic to have a drink. Why, then, is the alcoholic different from anyone else consuming alcohol at these events? The alcoholic is more likely to have 'a few drinks' prior to attending public functions. Initially in the disease process this acts as a great foil for their alcoholism as they will only consume a few alcoholic drinks as they are already 'primed' prior to the event.
As time progresses, however, the amount of drinks taken prior to a public event increase. Additionally and despite the ever-increasing tolerance to alcohol, increased alcohol consumption carries over into the public event and becomes noticed. During this 'crossover phase,' the alcoholic begins to sneak drinks. In my instance it was taping four hip-flasks of vodka to my body, wearing loose-fitting clothing and heading off to the toilet for a drink, returning to the can of beer that was my 'disguise.'
It was around this time that I realised I was a fully-fledged alcoholic....and had no intention of addressing it. Why? I have no idea.
This type of covert and devious drinking can only be 'understood' by a practicing or 'functional' alcoholic. I was a 'functional' alcoholic for many years as my tolerance to alcohol increased so gradually. Looking back on it now, it is a form of madness.
Many alcoholics will admit to this but I guarantee that the vast majority will only do so at the end of along drinking session. Once sober, they will (poorly) brush it off....until next time.
There is also the plight of the alcoholic who drinks predominantly out of sight....but that deserves an entry all of its own.
Hi. I suspect you are reading 'here' for any one of three reasons. The first is the most obvious. Curiosity. The second reason is that you either know someone by however many degrees of separation suffering from alcoholism. The third is, obviously, that you think or know that you are on the road to or an alcoholic. To anyone in the third category, well done! I'm so pleased that you're here....and here's why....
....To those who know or at least suspect they have a problem with alcohol, there are a multitude of alcoholism management strategies. Each alcoholism management strategy is highly-tailored for the individual alcoholic as no two alcoholics are the same.
I am a recovering alcoholic. It took me 10 years to acknowledge it, a further 9 years before I addressed it and the last 3 years managing it. I say 'manage' it as alcoholism can't be beaten. It's not a fight and besides, it's a far superior opponent to those who cannot 'manage' it. It's a big, fat, bitter pill but it's a fact. As soon as you stop 'fighting' alcoholism then I guarantee a very noticeable change in your mindset.
Let's step back quite a few years. Alcohol is a socially accepted and highly promoted drug. Some people can handle it better than others. If, at an early stage of your drinking, you were one of those who could handle it better than most then this is a major alarm bell. If you are reading this and know any younger folks like this, please try to get them to read this. I am in no way trying to encourage visitors. What I am trying to do is help prevent anyone from going down my road. There is nothing glamorous about it. It's not Hollywood. This is hard-core life and death material.
I can recall, at the age of 19, reading a book on Psychiatry as I was working there as a Student Nurse. I had an interest in alcoholism and Behavioral Psychology. I still do. I was reading a generalized book when I came to the chapter on alcoholism. I merely skimmed through it but the term 'insidious.' It struck a nerve and has been with me to this day. At that young age I knew that I was 'better' at drinking than most as I was never the one falling over, becoming aggressive and all of the other humiliating things that come with drunkenness.
As time progresses for the alcoholic, traits and behaviour follow, generally speaking, a similar path. Your work begins to suffer due to excessive days off due to a few too many drinks the night before. This may be accompanied by arriving to work not in 100% shape and often smelling of alcohol.
Your home life begins to suffer to. You become more tense and irritable for no 'obvious' reason. The next step downwards in the spiral is denying that you have been drinking when you have. Believe me; people close to you know. It can't be masked for long.
The next two factors, statistically speaking, occur within 18 months of each other. The first is sneaking drinks. This is such a ludicrous cycle to get into as it only gives one the alcohol 'kick' for a few minutes. The rest of your time is spent being paranoid and uptight. The second factor is drinking before and/or at work. Again, an outrageous paradox when one looks at it from the 'outside.'
Added to all of this is the need to constantly lie about your drinking. Due to your intake combined with anxiety levels, lie after lie end up tripping over themselves.
Once you have disrupted your family life, your career, friendships and finances to crisis point, it is time to ask for help. Ideally you do this of your own volition but statistics state otherwise.
When you think you're down and out, there's always further down to go. Believe me.
Watch This Space....
